Hello sweet friends!
The holiday season is such a fun time of year! I hope yours is going well! It is an amazing time that we get to celebrate our Savior’s birth. It is also a time of year that our culture focuses on romance and “love.” October marks the beginning of “boyfriend season.” It is a time of year where everyone seems to want a relationship more than ever. They want to do “cute Christmas couple things” together. They want to post all about it on social media for everyone to see. They want to feel included. They want to feel important. They want to feel “loved.” They would rather have a meaningless relationship so they can “do it for the gram” than wait for a worthwhile relationship.
In the past week, I have been asked three different times by three different individuals if I was worried about being “alone” at Christmas. My answer to each individual is absolutely not. God tells us that we are NEVER ALONE. It is so much better to have a quality relationship that is centered around God than having one just to fill up your latest Instagram theme. That means that it won’t happen in your timing. And, you may be “alone” at Christmas.
In order to find a blessed and God-centered relationship, you have to realize a few key points:
Salvation is NOT the bottom line: So many believers believe that once they are saved, they are done. This couldn’t be further from the truth. God wants to use every single person to do amazing things. He didn’t create you to get saved and sit around waiting for His return. So you shouldn’t be expecting to find a Godly relationship when you are saved, but not pursuing God every. single. day. Godly people seek other Godly people, so to find one you have to be one. Likewise, if you only want a Godly person to pursue you, you must be so immersed in your relationship with God that others don’t have the nerve to come near you.
Not all believers are equally yoked: The Bible tells us several times not to become unequally yoked. Many believers take this as the freedom to choose any other believer as a life partner. They see other believers choosing unbelievers, so they truly think that they are doing what is right. My friends, that is a seriously dangerous mindset. Anyone can be saved, but not everyone serves God. Not everyone chooses to pursue Him with all that they have. SO WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SETTLE FOR A LUKEWARM CHRISTIAN?! Sweet friend, that is not what God has planned for your life! Saying that all believers pursue God at the same level is like saying that all basketball players play at the same level. A third-grade basketball player and a professional basketball player would never be fit to play on the same team. It just doesn’t make sense. The third-grade player would have a lot of work to put in and maturing to do before they play as a professional. The same goes for believers.
Each one is at a different place in their spiritual maturity and relationship with the Lord. Instead of searching for another Christian, you should be searching for a Christian that is headed in the same direction that you are. There is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man. Your goal in dating should be to eventually find a spouse. A spouse is not meant to complete you, they are meant to be a partner to chase God with for the remainder of your earthly lives. You were not meant to date someone who will hold you back and hinder your relationship with God. You were meant to be with someone who will drag you to church on the days when you really don’t feel like going. You were meant to be with someone who prays for and with you on a regular basis. They should be pushing you. If you aren’t better together than you were alone, the relationship is flat out not worth your time.
You have to be willing to wait: Waiting is not the end of the world. It is better to be “alone” for the holidays than to be in a relationship that God didn’t initiate. Don’t get caught up in the hashtags and peer pressures. Pursue God with everything you have and He will direct your steps. You don’t have to do this alone. Don’t force a bad relationship because you don’t want to be alone. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
We have to start expecting more. We have to stop settling for lukewarm and pursue others with a fire burning for the Lord. Mediocrity is not okay when we are called to do GREATER WORKS THAN JESUS. It’s time to step up and start acting like children of the Almighty God and consult Him in our relationships. Trust me. He will tell you exactly what He thinks. It is up to you to listen.