Relationships can be a sensitive topic. Everybody has their own opinions and don’t want much advice. People get caught up in doing what they think is right for their relationship instead of looking in the Bible for what God tells us is true. You can’t make up your own rules for your relationship. The Bible lays out clear guidelines for relationships that are not up for negotiation.
Growing up, my parents always told me to “be more than a Friday night girl.” A Friday night girl is the kind of girl that is around on Friday night, but won’t be found sitting in church on Sunday morning. They’re not the kind of girls that a man wants to introduce to their mother or to be a role model for their little sister. This analogy did not truly hit me until I was old enough to see what a Friday night girl really was. While it sounds almost comical, it is one of the best pieces of advice that they’ve given me. It is something that I’ll never forget and it was something I always thought of when I had tough choices to make. It saves you from making choices that you will regret later on. Dating is worth doing the right way. There are a few things that you should know before getting into a relationship:
- DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED: This means that you should KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, whether or not they know Jesus as their savior. If you allow yourself to be strapped to an unbeliever, it can be very tough to end that relationship later. The Bible tells us not to go there. We should only be dating believers who are going to seek God with us and push us to go deeper in our faith. Unbelievers can actually pull you further from Christ. We are called to love all people, but we are specifically told not to date just anybody.
- WAIT ON HIS BEST: Don’t get caught up in your desires. It is better to wait on the person God wants for you. Your relationship and future marriage will be far more blessed if you choose not to settle.
- DON’T GIVE HUSBAND PRIVILEGES TO YOUR BOYFRIEND: You should not be doing things with your boyfriend that are only reserved for your husband. Marriage is a sacred relationship. Even if your boyfriend will be your husband one day, he has not earned husband privileges yet. He has not made that commitment yet. He is not yet responsible for laying his life down for you, and you are not yet responsible for submission. If you give these privileges before he is your husband, you may end up giving them to someone who should never get them.
- COHABITATION = TRIAL MARRIAGE: While this may sound good, it is certainly not. You are called to be married to only one person. If you live with your boyfriend, you are giving him husband privileges he has not yet earned. You can’t live a married life without the commitment. It is not God’s plan. You will be tempted to do things that you shouldn’t at this point in the relationship. It will create regret, especially if the relationship ends. If you do it God’s way, it will eliminate the regret and result in His best.
- A MAN SHOULD TOUCH YOUR HEART BEFORE YOUR BODY: Any man you date should be worried about the condition of your heart. He should be pushing you to go deeper in your faith. He should also be growing his faith. He should pray for you and with you. If he doesn’t care about your heart, he only wants your body and that is not a relationship that will last.
- ONLY DATE SOMEONE YOU COULD MARRY: This is so so so important. Dating is not the same thing as friendship. Dating is something for marriage minded people. Not people who just want to go out and have fun. That is friendship. Treating dating like friendship leads to bad decisions, heartbreak, trouble committing, and regret. The world makes casual dating out to be wonderful and even necessary. It tries to tell us to casually date and get married later on. It is fine to get married later if that is where God is leading you, but He is not leading you to have casual sex in your twenties so that you can save the married and mom life for your thirties.
You will attract what you are. If you want to date a Godly man, then be a Godly woman. If you seek God and live by His word, then you’ll attract a man that does the same. If you are going to be a Friday night girl, then you’ll attract a Friday night man. God wants His best for you. It’s up to you to decide to do it right.